We point and judge! Our very nature, we are always judging. 

As our judgmental selves point and condemn others, we remain benighted at the three fingers cuspated  back unto our selves. 

I have no indignities spared as I soil myself today. Not to mention the rectal exams that i have heard and now have had. On a related note, we will talk about my new cowboy walking style unpunctual. 

I never thought id find myself in such a precarious position. It didnt take me long to figure that it could happen to anyone. 

Everything life teaches you, about hospitals for example, is pure ordure. Dear Rudolph,  you might want to sit down while you still have some naivety.  Life places you at a point where you begin to question the existence of Santa. That place might just be... a hospital. Whether existing or not, his catch phrase might be resounding in your ears after. 

Talking of breaking one's spirit, I actually found out 

that they serve apples as a side in hospitals. I can personally attest to seeing a doctor biting into an apple. 

I dont know to what extent the origins of general relativity you would choose to refer and apply in your inference. I would rather not speculate. If the lumber.. or is it... lumbar, knowledge in this article is anything to go by, in introspect, and from years of formal education on survival tactics, I brandished an apple expecting the doctor to gasp and run away from it like a mummy who had just seen a cat or a vampire who had just seen a cross. Fate would have it that it was I ended up yearning for mummy and in need of redemption. 

Contrary to my expectations. But with great 

expectations, I can only quote ... 

"Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day." 

As it was pointed out to me, not even Charles Dickens nor Welsh aphorisms could save me now. The guy simply adjusted his stethoscope on his neck (im guessing this was to distinguish him from a butcher, because he was certainly not going to use it, or rather I hope not), closed one button on his coat, stared at me blank in the face, took the apple that i had forwardly placed to lunar me from him, and scrunched a bite! 

The shock on my face..... 

The thought in my head.... 

'Isaac Newton?Is that you?' 

Well it wasn't long before I had it all fingered out. Pardon me. I mean it wasnt long before I had it figured out what a DRE is. 

To wrap it up for you, i can only hint that it is not that homonym crap you would assimilate to in a rap. 

Well anyway, now that we are defining im in no need of ... 'DOCTOR!' I shouted in agony! 'Re Turd' he vociferated or maybe insulted. 

Its perfectly natural.  

Well, anyway, such an eventuality normal in such an intricate intimation eventually becomes normal. 

Awkward! Yet justified, I realise there were no initial niceties. I read his tag.  i think his name was Ted. I am no doctor but I think after that proctologic, on my part, im also more less Ted.