I have a former colleague who’s last conversation with me was that he had finally put his last born daughter through university. His actual last words during that talk was “It is done.” I came to hear of his demise two weeks later. I also later came to relate the teachings of John 19:30.  

My grandma still lives in me. I also like narratives. When I am with my children, I usually get them captivated by telling them a story first before I tell them what I would like them to know. When they are old enough, I hope they will adopt the same strategy towards their issue. Malam will play their role for now. 

Sit my dear readers as I narrate to you an allegory of one of the greatest men who ever lived and his neighbour. Who you emulate, is a choice I cannot make for you but can only advice. 

The story begins right after the crow before sunrise. The man wakes up and prepares himself to attend the early morning prayer at the mosque. On his way out, at his doorstep, he finds a pile of garbage. Wrong to assume he decides to just pick up the garbage and throw it at the rightful place. Not sure they had a garbage bin during those days but im fairly certain they had a designated place for refuse.

Every morning on his way out he finds litter by his doorstep. As he would later come to find out, it was his neighbour who used to purposely sweep the trash from his side and put it on the man’s doorstep. The man removing the litter and rightfully disposing it where appropriate. Each continuing with his trend.

One day, the man on his way out, was shocked there was no litter on his doorstep. Much to our dismay, he was more worried other than vengeful. He sought to go and knock at his neighbours door. He subsequently went to check on the neighbour and came to find out that the neighbor was ailing and was bed ridden.  The man, begun taking care of his neighbor.  The neighbor in utter remorse was embarrassed and apologized for his actions and never repeated his daily taunting actions again.

Dostoevsky’s in his novel ‘Crime and Punishment’ espouses the psychology behind reward and punishment and  narrates that a story about Raskolnikov, a murderer who, with time, exhibited a sense of remorse and felt more castigated by ‘enjoyed’ freedom. 

We are all villains in someone’s story. Your utmost repentance is with God. Understand that some people, under the guise of good intentions, will deliberately defame and/or wrong you and hope they get a response to justify their actions. You can only define yourself. If you have erred seek forgiveness from those you have wronged. And if you have been wronged, true forgiveness comes from self and not from he said she said. Listen to your intuition if you have been offered an apology. 

I am not a teacher nor a philosopher, but I hope you have learnt that your take home for today is that no matter how badly someone treats you, let it not change who you are. Not every situation calls for an analogous response or worse. Sometimes it is best to have faith and leave it to the Almighty to avenge. But best to just pray for their forgiveness. 

Sometimes silence can also be a form of communication. 

As we read between the lines, we need to understand that the message sometimes is not written but understood as written.

Of coarse interpretation may be different. There are those who believe for example during relationships that once a relationship is broken, then all communication should be locked. On the other extreme, there are those that believe that communication is key. Especially when it is for the benefit of opening doors for others.

I am reminded that for some, when a breakup has occurred, it is best to keep faaar away from someone you were once close to. Message being that they have lost the privilege and are now strangers to the heart. On the same front, there are those that believe that the ones that we keep far and incommunicado are the ones we strongly care for and there is the fear of making the same mistake twice. I don’t know about you but for me. If I still communicate often with an ex, then it only means I am still human. That’s me. 

So, as I prepare to pen off, I am left wondering, when is it ‘good-bye’ and when is it a good bye. To rephrase, when would do we say good-bye and when will people be satisfied that it was a good bye.

I have come to notice that even in death, not those felo-de-se, but as natural as it comes, people do say goodbye. There are those that believe that a person knows of his fate about forty days before his days are numbered. For those that are left behind usually are left penitent, wishing they could have done things different or at least read the small tell-tale signs.

It is only those who were perceptive enough to notice the waves that would be left saying that when the deceased said good-bye it was a good ….. Bye.